


Set me ablaze, don't let me drown

by TheOrangeAurora



Series: Universe travellers AU [2]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: AU, M/M, Outer Space, space travel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-21
Updated: 2017-11-21
Packaged: 2019-02-05 02:27:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,854
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12784965
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheOrangeAurora/pseuds/TheOrangeAurora
Summary: Two years after returning to Adrailia, Dan's life has changed and he doesn't belong. Daily yearning mixes with fear and exhaustion and he wants out. But is there anywhere left for him? And how can he get there?





	Set me ablaze, don't let me drown

**Author's Note:**

> Woo! I actually went on and write a sequel to Ignite the fire of a thousand suns! I felt like I needed to tell more of the story, though it might not compare in quality to the first part. Nevertheless, I enjoyed writing it so I hope you enjoy reading it <3

The stars shone brightly in the velvet sky above him, but Dan paid them no mind, his dark eyes drawn to the metallic plates that made up the pavement leading him to his work place. 

He'd still dreamed of them, far above and beyond, for a while. He'd still dreamed of //him// - the man so warm as the sun itself, and always so bright and happy about the smallest things in life. He knew that it was dumb to hold on to that memory, as one month had turned into a dozen and before he knew it two Adrailian years had passed and he was still stuck in time.

It had been one week, even less than that, that they had spent time together. 

Had laughed.

Had drank. 

Kissed.

He shut his eyes and heaved a sigh, breath turning into a white puff and it caressed his cheeks in a way that made him feel colder than he already was. Dan had felt more cold than not, ever since Phil had last touched him. It was like once Dan had learned of the true warmth, there was no way of going back. 

Some days were better than the others, and he enjoyed life, spent time with his brother and the few people that came close to being his friends, all those he had left behind when he'd departed from Adrailia having had moved on by the time he'd come back. So many days, especially during the dark seasons, when either or both of the suns were constantly staying behind the horizon, only peeking out just enough to not let the life disappear from the side of the planet, Dan felt himself wonder. How it would be to try and leave again, to travel to someplace warmer, where people were not cut in steel like the world around them. 

It always ended up with him glancing at his arm where the currencies barely reached four digits at the best months. His allowances were melting away quicker than time, and the scrap collection point job could only keep him above the water so much. There was no chance to save up, not when they had cut him off.

His own family had put him in front of a choice. Either get a job and they would support him with the missing difference in rent and necessities, or to bum out with no support.

Dan had seen the way those unfortunate souls that were left homeless would always roam from city to city, running from the merciless cold of the metallic planet, freezing on the panels covering everything or huddled up in the ditches where the soil peeked through, only a little bit warmer than the steel.

He was so much, but it didn't matter in the world ruled by the coin, the copper and the steel.

“You're late,” An angry, gruff voice addressed him when Dan pushed through the door, and instantly Dan curled in on himself a little more.

“He's always fucking late,” The voice continued and it didn't need looking up to know that the old Crastean had turned to complaining to one of the other staff members, his voice soon falling into the familiar sound of hissing that was the language of his species. 

It was a thankless job, sorting through the different scrap that people from all over would deliver to the scrap metal point in search of a couple of added digits to their currencies. At first Dan had been wary of cutting his knuckles, but eventually the scars had began riddling his skin, the colour milky against his slightly tanned skin. 

“You were late,” Dan stopped in his tracks, suddenly faced by the alien, the mane of the other male ruffled in a manner that made him look more scary than usually. No matter how many times Dan had seen the other male, the sight sowed dread into his being, and a shiver began somewhere in his core, extending the cold to the very tips of his digits. “You'll be working overtime. Do a good job and I might even pay you,” There was a sinister edge to the alien's voice, and a hiss that followed reduced Dan mute in an instant though words of protest had begun forming on his lips.

It was far too late that night that he fell face first into his bed, exhausted and aware of the fact that no matter how long the sun would be beyond the horizon, there wouldn't be enough hours to rest.

Was it really who he would remain for the rest of his life? Almost a slave, working through scraps only to be paid ones too. Always afraid. Always cold and miserable, his dreams dying as much as every passing day did without a notice. 

He closed his eyes, and it was like magic that the scene before him was painted. The greenery of Earth 2.0, the soft wooden tones of the hallways, the colours of the arcade, the warmth of a body pressed up close to him, holding him near. That single look that had once made him feel so hopeful about his existence.

Dan curled up on the bed, wrapping the blanket around himself to cocoon that imaginary warmth close as the sleep began to take over, his limbs exhausted and the new scratches across his arms stinging familiarly. 

===

“Three currencies per piece, I told you last week already,” Dan hissed clumsily under his breath in the Crastean dialect that he had a poor grasp of and the words that were thrown back at him were a violent mess of what he could only assume were curses. Before he knew it, a piece of scrap metal was thrown at his face and it was by sheer luck that Dan managed to duck out of its way, the metal clattering behind him. 

“Out. OUT!” Dan hissed at the angry alien while jumping over the counter, the heavy boots landing him rather painfully but it didn't matter. It rose a cloud of metallic dust in the air, and Dan used the moment to grab the considerably smaller but also so much more vicious creature by the scruff before tossing it out the door. “Don't return before you've got it in your head that you can't force currencies out of us!” He yelled after the creature as it scuttled away.

His limbs heavy and soul spent, he flopped down onto the icy cold ground, back pressed against equally cold wall behind him. Dark eyes looked up at the planetary ring lighting up the dark season sky, where all the space debris was floating in sync with the planet in a manner so harmonic that he dreamed of falling apart and joining the space dust on a day much like this.

To move away from the place he felt detached from, watching it from the above, shining with the light of the hiding suns.

His lids were heavy, and finally when he blinked, he couldn't find any more strength to open them though the chill was seeping through the fabrics, numbing his limbs.

“Dan,” The voice was full of urgency, or was it with amusement?

Warm hand in his, he felt the lightness in his body as he was lifted up and when he followed the length of the arm, it was familiar. He trailed the gaze over it and up to the shoulder, across the collarbone and towards the jaw. It was slow that he looked up properly but when he did, his heart felt like it had forgotten how to beat correctly.

Phil was staring at him, smiling that same silly smile that lit up his whole face.

Dan knew, it was just a dream. Even so, he let his heart take afloat in that way that it had felt without him knowing before it had dropped heavily when the spaceship had disappeared from before his eyes. He reached forward, trying to envelop the other man in his arms, to hold him close to his chest, to his heart. He wanted to latch on and never let go.

He saw Phil's lips part, to speak again, and all he wanted was to kiss the words away before they could form.

“Lazy trash,” The tone was rough, bordering a snarl and suddenly there was a kick against his side sending sharp pain through his cold and numb body. It jolted him right away and he scrambled to his feet clumsily, shrinking under the gaze of the Crastean male.

“S-s-sorry,” His lips were blue and teeth clattering, skin prickling with needles.

“Your sorries won't get the job done,” The snarl was aggressive and it cut like hot knives, making Dan want to pull away even more, “Last warning and you're on the streets.” Dan could only nod, shivering though his hands were rubbing over his arms to find some heat again. The look he was regarded was full of hate, and it was something alike to 'Filth' that Dan heard the male hiss when he, the messy mane swaying, turned and disappeared into the building.

His core had turned into that dead frozen giant again.

===

“You know that they mean well, right?” Adrian, feet swinging as he sat on the high stool, suddenly interrupted the silence between the brothers. Dan didn't look up, and instead focused on tending to the bleeding scratches on his knuckles, fingers numb and clumsy as they tried to place the scraps of the remaining healing patch on them accurately.

“They just want you to learn to be stable,” Adrian continued on when Dan remained stubbornly silent, tapped his heels against the metal legs of the stool, ''After the whole thing with the university--”

“I get it. They aren't over the fact that I'm not the perfect son that they envisioned,” Dan interrupted, dropping the patch on the table in frustration and defeat when he couldn't apply it correctly. 

He could hear the frown in Adrian's voice, “That's not what I meant...”

“But it is what it is. You know it. I know it. I had a mental breakdown and dropped out of one of the most prestigious law universities in our galaxy.” Dan felt the tiredness drum against the inside of his skull as a headache. He hated these conversations. Though he loved his brother dearly, Dan often wanted to avoid meeting him, because it always ended up with them discussing this.

“I'll work at the scrap collection until I can get into some technical studies and make sure they aren't as ashamed of calling me their own offspring anymore,” He continued on while reaching for the water cube. Tossing it into his mouth, he began chewing thoughtfully, feeling his thirst quenched gradually, but it didn't do anything to help his headache.

“Dan,” Adrian sounded so grown up and sometimes Dan felt like it was the younger brother that actually was the older one. “I'm not here to discuss the disappointment of mum and dad how you call it.”

The word 'disappointment' echoed in the back of his mind, and he tried to push away the words that were forming on his lips, full of anger. He didn't want to fight about this. Not again.

“So why are you here then?” He answered instead, a strain in his tone, dark eyes burning holes in the metallic wall of his small apartment. 

“I'm here to offer you a way out of here.”

It took about three silent seconds before Dan finally looked at his brother who was sitting on the stool slouched in that relaxed manner that their parents hated so much. 

“What?”

“I still get currencies from them, too much of it now that they refuse to give you any. It's only fair that I give it to you.” Adrian began explaining, equally brown eyes staring back at Dan; an oddity of a kind on the cold world of Adrailia where most people had black or grey gazes that matched the onyx and steel of the world itself. 

“Adrian, no, it's yours,” Dan began to protest after he found his voice again, “I don't want you to get in trouble with them over me.”

But the way Adrian was smiling was clear that the younger Howell had made up his mind already, and there was some secret hiding within that expression too. “It's not mine, Dan. And trust me, even if they cut me off, which they probably won't, I'll survive.”

Dan was full of fight though; as much as he wanted this miserable existence to end, he couldn't risk extending his fate to his brother just because the younger one had the heart of the purest ingots. 

“I got it,” Finally Adrian admitted and it took a single tick of the old mechanic clock on the room wall for Dan to understand the meaning behind the words. And when he did, his face felt like it was about to split from how wide he was grinning.

“You got the job?? Shit, that's amazing! Congratulations!!!” Adrian was grinning back only to flinch a little when Dan threw his arms around him to pull him in a hug, a custom so much unlike their world that Adrian could see the change in his brother. In the end though, he only laughed and pat Dan's back lightly until the older brother pulled away. 

“I did. Which means that I have all the currencies that should've been yours,” Dan tried hard not to frown at the change of the topic towards the funds again. He opened his mouth, to turn down the offer again but stopped when Adrian motioned at his arm. When Dan looked down, the number that had been nearing a zero once more was replaced by seven digits.

More than enough to leave, twice of what he had had before he left on his journey.

“Adrian--”

“Shut up, Dan,” It was said with a laugh, “You were completely changed and so hopeful when you left and came back. The least I can do is help you get back to that. Let's be honest, you're wasting away here and I hate to watch it happen after I saw what you can be.”

“I--” Dan tried to find words, but it was something else he was feeling - it was an overwhelming sense of relief, as if a tight knot in the core of his being that he hadn't known of had been unraveled all of a sudden. His knees felt weak and suddenly he found himself sitting back down. 

When he looked up at Adrian again, his sight was blurry in a way that it hadn't been for years.

“Thank you.”

===

His face was blank but his heart was racing as Dan lied in his bed in the darkness of his tiny abode, his arm up in the air and he stared at the seven digits on his arm though he couldn't actually see them. 

He found himself afraid. 

Here was all the freedom he yearned for, but he recalled those nights over three years ago, when he had laid in his bed back at his then home in a manner much like this, hopeful for the future, unaware of how it would come full circle, lead him through the heights of happiness all the way into the ditch of the wastage. 

He was afraid that it would happen again. 

The blanket rustle felt incredibly loud in the silence of his home when Dan finally threw it aside, like the crinkling of metal when it was pressed in the disposal, and sat up in the bed, the floor beneath his feet freezing, but his mind was buzzing too loudly for anything in the world to matter. A single click and the light came up in his room and Dan brought up a giant screen on his wall, where he map of the known galaxy was displayed. 

Suddenly he felt more alive than he had in a long time, his cheeks warming and though he was cold, the warmth in his chest kept him pushing on. His fingers, bit by bit, located the region, the galaxy, the federation and the stars. One star left behind the other, he continued his search, though he knew that come morning he could find the exact coordinates from the info androids at the Cornucopia. Yet he couldn't wait, and the search felt more rewarding as he neared the one place that was on his mind when he let his mind wander in wishful dreams.

Dan stepped aside, slowly, when the green and sandy planet appeared before him, and the information formed a list on its side. 

3 billion inhabitants. 

Average temperature between 23 and 40 Celsius. 

Democratic Republic. 

Best known for the underground spring vacation spots and some of the best galactic diplomats.

Before him was Dromia N442.

===

“The filth's back,” The hiss was familiar, but the hope that had ignited in his soul kept his stance proud and brave, which seemed to annoy the Crastean, as the giant alien suddenly emerged from behind the counter, and Dan nearly bumped into the chest of the humanoid. “Why'd you bother showing up at all today, if you're not even going to try and apologise?” He could feel the electricity in the air, charged with annoyance and the increasing dishevelment of the rusty mane. 

“Are you now mute, too, human?” When Dan didn't reply, the creature took a step forward and Dan retreated, all whilst meeting the yellow gaze with a blank expression. 

“Get out,” The creature snarled and jabbed a finger towards the exit.

“I came to collect what is mine,” Dan finally spoke and it caused silence to set in; he'd never spoken this clearly, his voice so steady, when addressing the other male, and it seemed to have a direct effect on the other male as he lowered his arm, instead crossing both over his chest now.

“What in the seven hellish suns do you mean?” The tone was demanding, but a mixture of discontent and annoyance began budding behind Dan's brow. He tried to push past, but when the creature blocked his way again, he had to ball his fists to keep himself from losing his temper and try shoving the other aside, knowing well that it would end in rough treatment that Dan couldn't measure with.

“You want me gone? Good. I will be. But I have my tools in the locker and I'm not leaving without them,” Dan shot the other a glare and there was a gleam in those yellow eyes.

“No. Get out.” 

“Not without what is mine,” Dan pushed on and tried to push past again only to be roughly shoved back, making him stumble into a lousy scrap replica of their central symbol of the world.

“You were fired before you got here, nothing left here is yours,” The Crastean snarled and the mane seemed to grow with every growl, like the fur on an enraged wild animal. And to Dan, this creature was barely any different from one. 

“I paid for it, it's mine.” He pressed on, once more but as he tried to step closer, he felt himself grabbed from behind, several pairs of arms holding him back.

“Get. Out.” Was the last thing he heard when he was suddenly thrown backwards and out the building, the heavy door shut right after him, immovable in their statement. Dan scrambled to his feet, his goal important to achieve and he banged his curled fist against the steel door.

“Give me back my stuff,” He demanded, realising how pathetic he looked and sounded to a pair of scrap gatherers that appeared around the corner, carrying their bags over their hunched backs, probably to leave with nothing but a couple of dozen currencies added to their existence.

A sound caught his attention, and he looked up where the small window had opened just to shove a beaten up metal box out; Dan's toolbox. It hit the ground heavily, and the lid popped open and all the contents spilled across the ground.

He knew it before he saw it. 

One of the scrap gatherers dropped their bag, jumping for several items that had spilled from the container, and Dan instantly launched himself at the creature, roughly shoving it away. “Fuck off,” He hissed in the clearest Crastean that he'd ever spoken, the malice similar to his ex-bosses’ in the sound, and though it was clear that the scrap gatherer wanted to try again, there was enough hesitation for Dan to quickly pick up the variety of the intricate tools and the box before he collapsed against the nearest wall, sorting through the items. He completely ignored the looks he was getting as he carefully, hands shaking, replaced the items in the box until all of them had been replaced but one. Another, smaller, very beaten up aluminium container. He popped it open and poured the contents out on his open palm, a variety of what would seem like useless wood and bone jewelry.

A certainty of his past. Something he always tried to have nearby, for it reminded him of the better times.

He curled his fingers around them securely, a gentle sigh escaping his lips.

It was time to try again, and he held onto the little pieces of what had been left of him.

===

He hugged the worn backpack to his chest like his life depended on it, and in a way it did. Stitched up and extra layers covering the holes, the backpack was much like him, a one true companion in everything that he had gone through. He knew that he could have and probably should have gotten a new one, but there was a certain necessity for the continuity that Dan felt when he'd pulled the old thing out from a corner full of the metallic dust. 

The sun was peeking from beyond the horizon, making him blink a little blindly at first when he glanced at it, but soon he felt the way the rays caressed his skin, gentle and warm, private. It made him almost unworthy of its attention, but as it was, he accepted it and relished in it.

The entire world slowed down around him, the frosty cold still strong in the surroundings, but lightened up with the bouncing of the light between the shiny panes. 

“Desired destination?” The robotic voice besides him repeated, making him jump a little. He knew most androids were programmed without actual annoyance modules, but there was something about the repeated request that expressed the feeling quite pointedly.

“Dromia N442,” As soon as he finished talking, he could hear the ticking cogs and the silent hum in which the information was analysed and the appropriate response - generated. 

“Fifteen thousand currencies,” He had expected a high price, after all it was so far away, but his throat dried up at the sound of the actual price. 

It had been two years. Did Phil even remember him? What if the other man had moved on, maybe even away from his birth planet? What if Dan appearing would make him uncomfortable? What guarantee did Dan even have that he could find Phil between three billion people and so many more tourists?

His tongue dry, he cancelled the request and slumped against the side of the android booth. His head in his hands, he tried not to think about the fact that he could just up and leave, freely. He had enough to work with, but he had no plan. His dreams had been dreams, a wishful thinking that it would continue just like that from where they left off. 

In reality he was just a speck of steel dust floating in the endless universe without a home, without a certain path nor knowledge of where he belonged or how to get there. He was just a cold ice giant set to self-destruct without anyone taking notice, only ever loved by something that regarded all as one.

Dan understood that he had to get away, but he was unsure of where to go. All he ever truly knew and owned was on Adrailia, though it had disowned him years ago. He was a stranger to it and all he knew wanted him gone.

He sniffled, and felt the cold prickle all over his skin as the sun disappeared behind the horizon once again. A part of him wanted to just remain there, to freeze and cease. A part of him did not. 

“Excuse me,” The voice barely registered in Dan's ears with the background of the ever-chattering crowds at the space station and the rolling of the wheels from ages old suitcases and the droning of the technology. It was sweet, smooth though it had a roughness lining the edges in a manner that Dan could not describe.

He didn't want to look up, to disturb the dream that his sorrows created in that tone, so he remained unmoving, not responding though another sniffle escaped him without him willing it.

Something warm settled on his shoulder, something that set his skin ablaze in a manner that should have hurt with how cold he felt in contrast, but there was no pain to it. The feeling was lapped up by his skin, allowing it to expand beyond the contact. 

It made him want to curl up, to dissolve and become one with the feeling. To turn into a gentler kind of space dust that could make somebody else feel like they belonged.

“Are you alright?” The voice returned and Dan finally raised his head, but he didn't dare to look up at the stranger who had taken the time of their day to stop with him. He wanted to believe, that perhaps he was not sick and delirious and what his heart was aching for was truly happening. He'd been always taught hard facts though, and reminded the logic's importance, how feelings were good until they began to dominate you.

“Dan?” The softness and disbelief in the tone finally caught his heart and tugged it along with his gaze up, to face what he feared and hoped the most for. 

A cacophony of colours and the milkiest skin, where the onyx of dark hair contrasted in the most perfect manner. The warmth in the blue gaze, the little lines around the eyes where laughter had set in as a permanent tenant. 

Same as the dreams, but different. Calmer. A little older. Somehow wiser and more reassured. 

Full of emotion written right across the face.

“Oh Gods, Dan,” The hand left his shoulder and two cupped his face, causing redness to take place with how warm his skin felt under the gentle fingertips. “It's actually you,” There was an equally watery quality about the voice and the eyes, and Dan was rendered mute as he stared at the other man, unable to believe it, unable to move enough to reaffirm reality. 

Until he was drawn forward and he clumsily sprawled his legs on either side of Phil's kneeling frame, his face drawn in close against the collarbone, warm arms enveloping him securely, like nothing in the known universe could break through them to hurt him again. 

“P-Phil,” Dan finally managed out, when his heart jump started again and in an instant, he wrapped his frozen arms around Phil's waist, drawing him in as close as he could and held on as tightly as he could muster. 

The crowd shied away from them, more so where Adrailians were seen, the display of affection almost offensive to them though mostly ignored in the space station.

All Dan cared for though was that he was holding onto the one person in the known universe that he had longed for.

He had found him. Somehow. Even when Dan had lost his hope.

===

It was the rapidly disappearing steel and cold that he watched through the small window of the space ship. A place which had birthed and raised him, expelled him from its life to give him another chance at living. A place which Dan had sent the name of to Phil, only for a corrupted version to settle in Phil's inbox, one that took far too long to decrypt. 

Persistence had prevailed though.

His fingers tightened around a warm palm, and Dan looked away from Adrailia and at the one person who had rapidly become his one real home, watching the way the blue eyes were a mixture of adoration of Dan and worry of the trip, how the pale lips were reddened from the numerous kisses and teeth raking over them in the past days. He saw the way these same lips bowed into a genuine smile, as the engines roared beneath the two men and all those in the space ship. 

He felt the way the two of them had fallen into a comfortable middle ground beneath the burned and the frozen.

He felt lifted far above and beyond, not drowning anymore.

Phil held on tight and somehow Dan knew; this time they would not part away so easily.


End file.
